Archive for December, 2011

We all go through tough and challenging times. But how we face those challenges and deal with it is what makes our life. As we grow up, life throws many challenges at us. As a student, every exam is a challenge, building career and succeeding in life is a challenge, learning from failures is a challenge, overcoming personal loss is a challenge, maintaining work and family is also a challenge. Hence, the key to face all these different challenges in life, we need to maintain a positive attitude and a never say die spirit. Mentally, our thoughts, beliefs and ideas make a tremendous impact on our behavior and our actions. If we think positive, we experience peace and well-being. Negative thoughts pull us down and tend to make us feel sad and depressed.

One of the most common questions that people ask when they are going through tough times is that ‘why me?’ The answer to this question is that you are not the only one who is going through challenging times. Everyone has their own share of problems. Some may have financial problems, others have work related problems and some others may have some personal problems. All of us face challenges of different sorts. Some show it while others don’t. However, to develop the right attitude to face these challenges is what is important.

Developing a strong mind and maintaining your emotional quotient (EQ), helps us in facing any kind of challenges. There is no denying to the fact that it is difficult to come to terms with some of the difficult problems that we go through. People detected of cancer and undergoing treatment must be going through such challenging times. During times like these, one needs support of their friends and family members who give you courage to face such difficult times.

It is said that spirituality and meditation also help a great deal in understanding the deeper meaning of life and thus being able to face challenges. Deep breathing, meditation and exercises help us to relieve our stress and become strong mentally as well as physically. Self healing is important. This happens through positive thinking and peace of mind.

Another way to face challenges is to have our support system in place. Build strong relationships. Friends can help you to overcome your problems and having their support makes life easy. Family members can also provide encouragement and motivation to face any kind of a challenge.

Learn not just through our own experiences but also through others experiences. The experiences we encounter in life make us stronger Learn from problems so that you will not have to experience it again. Remember that when we face a challenge, the best way to deal with it is to conquer it and learn from it.

Last but not the least, expect the unexpected from life and you will find that you are strong enough to fight any difficulty in life. Build that never say die spirit and you will see that life is too beautiful even with difficult times and tough challenges.

Conflict is a condition where there is opposition, disagreement and/or antagonism between two or more people. This may be due to lack of communication, differences over certain issues and/or contradiction in ideas, beliefs and thoughts. People experience tensions, cold vibes, power struggle, strife etc when conflicts arise. Conflicts at workplace can hamper the progress of your work and in turn stunts the growth of the organization. Conflicts act as barriers to healthy organizational development. Sometimes, however, how hard we try; we end up with conflicting thoughts with team members. Therefore it is necessary to manage conflicts in a way such that it has minimum impact on our lives.

Unresolved conflicts can be hazardous especially at work places. They can lead to inappropriate behavior such as avoidance, inability to work in teams, verbal assaults, and overall resentment. In worst cases, some of the employees in the organization become so hostile that they eventually have to quit their work and separate from the organization.

So how do you smartly manage conflicts? The biggest word is communication. Communicate your thoughts, ideas and beliefs openly but do not expect everyone to agree with you. Hence, be open to debate, discussion and differences. You must remember that this discussion is for the betterment of the project or the job assigned to you and your team members. Hence, do not get personal and avoid animosity with the person. Another point to remember is to control your anger. Use words like ‘I understand’, ‘I somewhat agree with you’, ‘what you are saying is fine but…,’ and then put forth your point. This will make things better and will lead to a healthy discussion avoiding any scope for conflicts.

Do not try to resolve conflicts over non-personal communication modes like e-mails, answering machine messages, and notes. At times, this can worsen the condition. Communicate in person or at least over the phone.

Listen to what the other person has to say. If you can listen and respond appropriately you will bring peace and solutions to the conflict easily. For example, you have a meeting with you team members and your boss over a new product launch and you have said that winter is the perfect time to launch the product but your colleague does not think so. Give him a chance to speak and politely ask him the reasons of why he or she thinks so and what the alternate strategies are then. If you agree to his/her point accept so humbly. If you do not agree, reason out the things why you do not agree and substantiate with examples. Ask for an opinion from other team members and let the head/boss decide.

Controlling your anger and frustration is the biggest challenge while managing conflicts. Sometimes, it is better to be silent and let some time pass by so that you can look at things more objectively. Managing conflicts in no one means being subservient and agreeing to whatever people around have to say just so that you want to avoid conflicts.

Putting forth your point and what you think is extremely important. Healthy communication is essential. Also, one should learn to keep ones ego aside. Keep no room for any kind of attitude problems. Be humble, intelligent and a great communicator and the rest will fall in place!

All of us are living a fast paced demanding life, dealing with work pressure, home responsibilities, and other commitments all the time. We all live and deal with stress at some point or the other. Sometimes, this stress becomes a part and parcel of our life. However, managing stress is extremely important. Stress has a lot of harmful effects on our body and mind. People under stress often experience headaches, anxiety, depression, negative thoughts, nausea, anger, frustration etc. Hence to avoid these problems, maintaining stress is extremely important. You may feel that there is not much that I can do about stress however that is not quite true. You need to exercise regularly to keep stress at bay. Exercising is not the only thing that will help. One needs a change in ones routine and you need to inculcate a sense of positivity. You need to take charge of your thoughts, feelings and actions.

It is said that yoga, medication and breathing exercises are great ways to combat stress. The ultimate goal to manage stress is to lead a balanced life. Work is not everything in life. You need to make some time for recreation and leisurely activities that can calm and soothe your mind.

Some people say that you can manage stress by keeping a journal. Every time you get stressed, just note down in your dairy what caused you that stress. In this way you can identify the things and the people that stress you. Once you see this journal after some days you will realize that there are some common things that stress you. Identifying these things is half the job done. Now, note down your reaction and response to things that stressed you out. You will realize that an alternate peaceful action would have caused less stress. Write down that alternate action and what you can do to make yourself feel better whenever such situations arise.

One of the worse ways to deal with stress is to smoke and consume large amounts of alcohol. Also, avoid eating or sleeping too much when you are stressed because this will make you lethargic. Avoid sitting in front of the TV for many hours. Instead, choose healthier ways to manage your stress. First and foremost, you need to organize and plan your life to keep unnecessary stress away. For example, plan your day in advance – schedule meetings and be punctual for them, reach home on time from work, do not waste time gossiping etc. Always keep a to-do list with you to know what is it that is pending and how much can be achieved in a day. One thing that needs to be kept in mind is the fact that while preparing this to do list, be realistic and set achievable targets so that there is no stress. Learn to say no to certain things. As a human being, there is only so much that you can do. Do not expect too much out of yourself. Relax, rejuvenate and recharge yourself so that you can function more efficiently.

As human beings we are constantly dealing with negative thoughts such as anger, irritation, stress, frustration, fear, guilt, regret, sadness, disappointment etc. Negative thoughts can not only harm our mental equilibrium but can also affect our physical well being. We deal with negative thoughts in our daily life when we shout at someone, deal with people who irritate us or hurt us and sometimes we just develop negative thoughts by sitting idle and thinking or imagining. Negative thoughts and feelings are one the worst things we can experience as a human being. But at the same time it is not possible to remain positive at all points. Negative thoughts can creep in our minds and can disturb you. But this is where the power of positive thinking helps. Try to avoid negative thoughts and rather than ignoring it, deal with it. Face the fear and do not worry in anticipation of things.

We need to learn to detach our negative thoughts and emotions and think like an outsider. Since we think about hundreds of thoughts per day, some of them can affect how we feel. The biggest one being fear – fear of losing, fear of failing, fear of being lonely etc. Our mind sucks us into a whirlpool of negative thoughts and we lose our mental peace and balance of life. We become irrational and lose the control over our emotions.

There are some people who are constantly analyzing their feelings. They need to stop doing this as this will always cause you to have negative emotions. Negative thinking will cause tension in your body, and your subconscious will stop working. Negative thoughts also stem from thinking about what others think of you. People put pressure on their self and try to become something that they are not only because they have a perception of what others think of them. This not only leads to negativity but builds so much pressure! What others think of you is none of your concern. Every individual is unique and you must remain true to your self.

If you want to get rid of negative thoughts, do not fight your mind and body. You need to be in harmony and in peace with your body and thoughts. Just let the thoughts come as if you do not have total control over them. Your thoughts should be aligned. When a negative situation comes up, let it be. Do not mull over it. Do not fight it or constantly think about it and get worried. Accept that there are some things which are beyond your control. Hence what you are thinking inside your mind will not change the situation. In fact it will only hamper your mind without solving the problem. When any negative thoughts come to your mind, just prepare yourself mentally, become aware of it, and most importantly, become conscious of it through mind, body and soul.

Negative emotions are not something which you can delete or erase. You need to learn to deal with them such that they do not affect or harm you in any way. Acceptance and assimilation are two key words. Even negative emotions can teach you so much – so the key is to learn even from your negative thoughts and pick up positive traits in them.

We all keep hearing about the power of positive thinking and how it can change our life, but must of us find it difficult to bring about that change of positivity and optimism in our life. Positive thinking should be a way of life not a compulsive habit. We cannot treat positive thinking like a subject which needs to be learned. Of course you need to learn to be positive but it should not be treated like a subject one learns in school. Our mental being affects our physical health and positive changes can thus bring about changes in our physical health too! The power of positive thinking is immense. Consciously and unconsciously it helps us to be stress free. Positive thinking has a lot of influence in improving our lives.

So how should one bring about the effective change of positive thinking? Positive thinking is our ability to use our thoughts to imagine and anticipate the best possible outcome in every circumstance. As human beings most of our worries stem from things we anticipate and more often than not this anticipation is expecting the worst possible outcome. This is what needs to be changed. For example, if a student has worked hard for his or her exams and is anticipating his/her results, he/she must anticipate good results. Avoid thinking about grades and marks. A positive student will think that because he/she has worked hard he/she will get good grades. Negativity can create irritation and anxiety – both of which are harmful for your mind and body. Think positive and life will be very beautiful!

The power of positive thinking works best for self enhancement and personality development. Everyone wants to be associated with a positive person around. We our attitude becomes positive we attract people around us. It improves our present condition and leads to a constructive path of life. Positive attitude helps us visualize favorable circumstances. If we aim for self enhancement for our own personal progress, we must consider our strengths, good qualities and positive abilities and we must be confident that we can achieve our goals and conquer what life offers us. We must give importance to the positive character traits we have and enhance it further to emerge as a stronger positive person. Even in an organizational set up, positive thinking can help a great deal. People assuming the leadership roles must be positive and spread optimism amongst the employees. Positive thinking can be a great motivational factor in getting things done.

Here are some of the positive changes that you can adapt to, to realize the power of positive thinking: In every situation, look for positive people to be associated it. Be a happy person, always. Every day when you wake up, chose to be joyful and pleasant. Be positive in your outlook in life. Spread happiness. Never ever let negative emotions affect you. Think positively and good things will happen. If you believe you will succeed, then you will succeed and this quintessentially is the power of positive thinking.

Happiness is a state of mind where you feel pleasant, blissful and calm. Most of us look for happiness outside. We look for happiness in money, in people around, in materialistic things…however happiness is something that is within. Happiness found outside is temporary.

Happiness is nothing but choices that we make in our personal life. Above all, when we look within and talk with our inner being, we realize that there is a higher self within us which is above everything else. This inner being does not require money or other things to be happy. In fact the smallest things in our daily life can also bring us happiness. A book, a smiling child, few good words and priceless things like these can make you very happy. Unfortunately we are living in a world that lays a lot of importance on materialistic wealth. This however may make you rich but it may not make you happy. Happiness lies within us and we all must feel very happy with our inner self first. If we make a pact to be at peace with our inner self, they outer misery will also not affect our happiness inside.

Life is surely not a joyride and it has its ups and downs. We all go through our moments of sadness and difficult times. This is when inner peace and happiness helps us combat with such difficult times. When we are happy from within no worries can bother us, nothing can stress us and we feel full of positive energy that helps us deal with tuff times. As human beings we all desire utmost happiness but desire is the root course of misery. Happiness is a state where we do not desire. It is a feeling within our mind and heart that we are content and we value our precious life such that we do not want to waste any time in negative emotions like anger, frustration and sadness.

Many who have found inner happiness have said that they feel immense amount of positive energy within themselves. They feel light and easy. It is said that practicing meditation can help you find inner happiness. Do things that make you feel happy from within. Generosity is one such expression where most of them feel very happy. When you help the underprivileged and see the smiles on their faces, you feel happy. This is true happiness.

To constantly be in a state of happiness, your work should be aligned with your inner being. You must know your self completely and must be aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Find out what thoughts make you happy and what thoughts and feelings bring about negative emotions. Surround your self with people who remain happy and spread positivity around. Avoid being in company with people who constantly crib and are negative in their approach. Happiness lies within and one must get in touch with it to feel what it really is to be happy. No money, no materialistic things, no worldly matters can bring happiness the way happiness is within!

The term ‘inner peace’, also referred to as ‘peace of mind’ is to be able to be in a state that is quiet, stable, calm, stress-free and happy. Maintaining inner peace in a hectic fast paced life may not be easy but we must all strive to achieved inner peace for a healthy state of being. Mentally and physically, most of us are always stressed. This not only harms our physical being but makes us mentally unstable. We lack concentration and become irritated. Inner peace which can be achieved through meditation and breathing exercises help you to calm your mind and increase concentration.

Finding inner peace is also more often than not associated with religion especially Buddhism and Hinduism. They lay a lot of importance on mental equilibrium and maintaining inner peace. According to Buddhism, a calm person is more close to God that someone who is mentally stresses, frustrated or irritated. It may not be possible to achieve a calm state of being in a few days especially if you are use to a lifestyle that is fast, stressful and complex. However, achieving inner peace is a matter of change in your thoughts and feelings. Maintaining harmony within comes from the mind. You have to talk to your mind that it cannot stress itself. Whenever you feel angry or irritated, remember two words ‘inner peace’ and take a deep breath. It will automatically make you feel light.

Create harmony with things that are bothering you. For example, you may be bothered by the fact that your maid does not clean your house the way you want it. Talk to your maid, explain it to him/her about the cleaning aspect, and find out what the problem is. However, things like these and even bigger problems in life should not affect your inner peace. Many people keep fighting with things that is causing them stress and anxiety. What they perhaps do not realize is the fact that if you fight, it will fight you back.

Once you make a pact with your mind and heart to keep worries at bay and create equilibrium within, things get very easy; Most of the people feel that things they use to worry about were actually quite frivolous. It was just their nature to get hyper, worried and stressed. As soon as people start practicing small changes in their life, meditation and change in thoughts and actions, they realize that they are one step closer to attainting inner peace.

Change is constant but changing yourself and your habits may not be that easy. It should be a step by step process. Start getting up early in the morning and practicing meditation and breathing exercises. Try to avoid rush for anything. Be punctual and avoid any sort of laziness. Make ample time for rest and leisurely activities. Spending quality time with oneself is very important. Spend one hour with yourself daily where you are free from mobile phone, laptop or any sort of communication device. Develop faith, and persistence which are all functions of the mind. Imagine a peaceful life and keep expectations to a minimum. Stay happy, help others, let go and spread joy and you will automatically know what inner peace is!

Spiritual growth is the process of evolving your inner self, your consciousness. It is a method through which you awaken the soul within through meditation and feel the energetic vibrations within. Spiritual growth and development helps you know more about yourself.

When we grow spiritually our perception changes and the way we see the world around us also changes. Spiritual growth and development brings about a positive change in our life. Not only we become optimistic and positive in life but also become calmer and peaceful. This growth helps us to deal with negativity around us. We reflect upon life and look for deeper meanings. Anger and other negative emotions take a back seat and we start feeling happy and comfortable in any circumstances.

As we grow spiritually, our attitude toward life also changes for the better in a number of ways. Most of our problems stem from our own perceptions and expectations of ourselves and of the world. Spirituality and inner engineering may not help you to change the world but it definitely helps you to change the way you perceive the world. One will realize that this solves half the problems of your life. Someone has aptly put it that spiritual journey makes you see the world with a new pair of glasses!

Spiritual growth and development helps you to imbibe humility. As we embark on a spiritual journey, pride, jealously, selfishness starts to melt away. You start becoming humble, generous and nonviolent. Every experience in our life can teach us something if we have a humble approach towards life. When we are spiritually inclined we can keep stress at bay and spread the message of love and peace around. We realize that our equations with people around us change. We value relationships and there is also a tendency of helping others.

Spirituality helps us to develop detachment, which leads to inner peace. We learn to rise above frustration and disappointment. Meditation, a part of spiritual growth and development not just has physical health benefits but also increases our concentration and sharpens our mind. People, who are spiritually inclined, lead a balanced lifestyle. A holistic approach towards our life and our overall mental and physical being comes into play as we start to realize that everything is related to our spiritual growth.

Spiritual growth is also characterized by a growing connection with God and hence prayers play an important part in spiritual growth and development. Chanting ancient scriptures also helps us to achieve peace which most of us miss in our busy stressful lives. Spiritual growth and development helps us develop a deep understanding of who we really are and how we can grow internally. Our inner power and strength increases tremendously.

Spirituality and inner peace is a way of life. It helps you to develop great strength and courage. It builds our endurance levels and we can take a complete charge of our life thereby living a life that has no regrets, no guilt and/or no anger. Spiritual growth and development can help to make human beings better citizens.

Emotions are nothing but the feelings that we experience within us such as happiness, loneliness, anger, pride, anxiety, regret, shame, guilt, excitement, love, etc depending on our experiences and the stimuli we receive from our surroundings and people around. Every individual has a unique perception of the event and every individual feels it differently. That is the reason why some people are considered to be more emotional than others.

Our emotions are the primary influencing factor for every definitive action that we make as a human being. We experience emotions right from the time we are born. Gradually as we grow up, we tend to understand the world around us in a better way and also develop a better understanding of our own emotions. Emotions are the key part of our life and they affect our overall being and behavior. As humans, we are constantly experiencing different types of emotions be it anger, sadness, happiness, guilt or anything else. The role of emotions dictates our actions more often than not. Hence, getting a complete hold of your emotions is very necessary to lead a stable life. The role of emotions in motivating behavior is also an important aspect of understanding our addictions. Without emotions, addiction does not exist. Without that intense need addiction does not exist.

We, human beings, are living in a close knit society where our behavior and action is determined by our past experiences. Some of the emotions like fear, anger, love and grief are so strong that they force us to things which one would not even think of doing otherwise. On the other hand, many people even being successful or getting old have a good grip on their emotions.

There are many times when so many of us experience strong emotions. These strong and intense emotions are good but it is bad to let them overpower you. Most of us knowingly or unknowingly come in the control of these intense emotions. In the situations like these our body secrets a lot of hormones which makes it difficult for our brain to take any decisions. During such times, our decisions become biased and we base them upon our past experiences. When intense emotions surround us, we get into depression and then we become dangerous not just for our own self but also for others. For example, when we are angry we do not realize how our behavior is hurting others and harming our own body. In psychological sense, this is a state where we have no control on emotions and thus our brain weakens in controlling emotions.

To come out of such situations we need to exert a certain control over our emotions. We need to be strong to face any emotional imbalance or disturbance. For this we need to understand emotions and its role in our life. We need to realize that up to what extent we can get a control of our emotions. People who commit suicide have no control over their emotions. They never realize that they are a victim of their own emotions. We need a brain and a heart strong enough so that no emotion can take control of us. This can be achieved by cultivating hobbies, doing things that please us, inculcating a sense of optimism and positivity around and practicing breathing exercises and meditation.

Human learning is a process of acquiring knowledge. Our behavior, skills, values and ethics are acquired when we process information through our minds and learn. Human learning may occur as part of education, personal development or any other informal/formal training. Children learn while they play, experiment, and interact. However, the process of learning is a continuous process. We constantly learn, unlearn and relearn through our experiences. To express ideas, to inform people, to communicate, to create etc we need to learn.

It is said that there are four levels of learning. Unconscious Incompetence is a stage where we don’t know what we don’t know. This means that we are not even aware of certain things in this universe. We have no awareness of the existence of certain kind of knowledge. The individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognize this.

The second level is conscious Incompetence. This means we know what we don’t know. There are certain things which exist and which we are aware of however, we consciously know for a fact that we don’t know it. Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, he or she does recognize this. The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage. Example: a person knows that he or she does not know how to drive.

The third level of learning is conscious competence. Here individuals are aware of the learning that has taken place. We know what we know. The individual understands or knows how to do something. Execution of the skill plays an important part in this learning process. It requires a lot of concentration. Example: An individual knows for a fact that he or she can cook and when they do that, they must perform the process with concentration.

The fourth level of the learning process is unconscious competence. This means that we don’t know what we know. Sometimes, we as individuals have had so much practice with a particular skill that it almost becomes our second nature. And this we can perform with utmost ease. As a result, the skill can be performed while doing other things as well. These skills may be taught to other individuals as well, depending upon how and when it was learned.

Apart from the process of human learning and the stages of human learning, spirituality and being conscious of your inner self is also learning in itself. Human beings must learn and be aware of their soul and must identify peace within themselves. This is a continuous learning process. Practicing meditation helps you to learn about your feelings, emotions, and other inner attributes. Even Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs talks about the last stage of need which is Self Actualization. According to him, one reaches that stage after all basic; safety and luxury needs are fulfilled. Human learning, above all, has to do with adaptive behavior. With time, humans need to learn, unlearn and relearn to become their perceived ideal self. However, realizing the inner self is the biggest learning for most humans.